Mapping Midlife

Ah, a peaceful bus ride. An opportunity to stare out the window, observe people on the street, see how neighborhoods are changing. Perhaps time enough for some quiet meditation – or even a nap.

Wait – what’s that? A deep male voice intones, “Please exit through the rear door.” Passenger moves to rear door – “Please step away from the door.” Hmmm….

Quiet again. Slip into oblivion. “The fare on local buses is $2.25. The fare on express buses is $5.50.” an unsolicited female voice tells me. OK. “Avenue U,” a male voice chimes in. “Please exit through the rear door. Please step away from the door.”

“It is a felony to attack a bus operator,” the female informs me. Wasn’t planning mayhem.

“East 15th Street,” the male informs me. “Please exit through the rear door. Please step away from the door.”

“The time is now 11:53. Have a nice day,” the dispatcher’s voice intones over the intercom.

“Your are riding a new hybrid electric bus,” female chimes in.

From the male: “West 3rd Street. Please exit through the rear door. Please step away from the door.”

From the driver, “Please step to the rear of the bus.”

Our female friend, “Use MetroCards to speed your ride.”

“It is a felony to attack a bus operator,” the female informs me. Wasn’t planning mayhem before. May reconsider.

There are four different sources of information on this bus – the driver, some central dispatcher, on-board announcements and disembodied system announcements. Announcements come fast and furious – no more than two minutes apart. Do I need all this information?

Peaceful bus rides – at least here in New York City – no longer exist. My nerves are jangled. Is this some subliminal campaign to get me to walk more? I think I’ll start right now. “Please exit through the rear door.”

You’re a bus – now shut up!